ESPN Says Something Mildly Positive About The New York Yankees

Television viewers were treated to a sight rarer than a perfect game Monday, if they were watching ESPN at 1:23 am. On a Baseball Tonight update, ancient Red Sox reporter Peter Gammons actually said something that could be construed as a compliment toward the New York Yankees.

Typically, the geniuses at ESPN affectionately refer to the Red Sox as: "The Nation" whenever they frequently dissect Sox highlights. Forty minutes of the hour-long program are usually spent talking about how cool Kevin Youkilis' beard is, why J.D. Drew is the greatest hitter of all-time, and how it would be awesome to be friends with Jonathan Papelbon.

Of late, (originating sometime around 2004) the "Sawks" have recieved nothing but support from those at the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network. Even long-time Yankee reporter and respected baseball mind Buster Olney was recently spotted walking into ESPN headquarters wearing a "Mrs. Pedroia" T-shirt.

For these reasons, and many more, the most successful franchise in the history of sports (The Yankees) have been delegated to the depressing territory of box score ticker space: the bottom of the screen, usually reserved for the Kansas City Royals and Pirates' trade news.

So when Gammons "misspoke", shocked insomniacs and startled night security guards fell out of their chairs. The shriveled beat-writer actually made a reasonable inference about how well the Bombers have done this season. Red Sox faithful in and around "The Nation" (Only New England) immediately called for Gammon's resignation and a heartfelt apology.

The original comments that started the uproar:

"Well, those fantastic and handsome Red Sox will be heading to Yankee Stadium later this month to play those idiots over there.

Those Crimson Champions of the Common Man, those Scarlet Sultans of Success, will be going up against a pretty good ball club.... Wait... Hold on a second, I didn't mean that. You guys know I didn't mean that! Something's wrong with the teleprompter... Don't you give me that look, John Kruk!"