Pirates Trade Mascot

July 30th, 2009 - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - With less than 12 hours until the trade deadline Pittsburgh Pirates GM Neal Huntington finalized a deal that will send fan favorite mascot 'Pirate Parrot' to the Dodgers for a ball boy to be named later.

Pittsburgh fans were shocked by this announcement. Within this past year the Pirates have already traded away Xavier Nady, Jason Bay, Nate McClouth, Nyjer Morgan, Adam LaRoche, Freddie Sanchez, Jack Wilson, Ian Snell, Tom Gorzelanny and are currently shopping Andy LaRoche on Craigslist.

Pittsburgh journalists had speculated the Pirates would be shopping Pirate Parrot, with Captain Jolly Roger recently being called up from the Pirate's triple A affiliate.

GM Neal Huntington had this to say to his harshest critics. "Everyone in this organization loved Pirate Parrot and would never overlook his contributions to this proud franchise. But Baseball is a living organism and you have to plan for the future. Listen, Pirate (Parrot) is on the other side of 30 and you can tell he has lost a step or two. When we would score a run, he used to be the first one off the top of the dugout doing a celebratory jig or dramatically rubbing his eyes in disbelief... he always got me with that one.

Plus these wandering Steeler fans overlook what we stand to gain. There were plenty of organizations out there that showed heavy interest, but the Dodgers just seemed to be the best fit.

Smitty Randolph, volunteer batboy and 3rd cousin of current Brewers bench coach and disgraced Mets manager, Willie Randolph, has a keen eye and a delightful scamper.

We're also looking at Chip Chimendez, Dodger's left field ball boy who is prompt and cleanly. Now that the trade is on the books, there isn't a definite time table on this so we're keeping our options open.

The Dodger's skipper Joe Torre did not seem as enthusiastic about the trade. "How the hell does a parrot that is also a pirate have anything to do with the Dodgers organization... the city of Los Angeles or the game of baseball in general. I've heard talk that they're gonna put a cheap Manny wig on it, God help us.

Still, is getting anything for Willie's touched in the head nephew a good deal? No Question."

Love it or hate it the trade will become official Friday morning, pending a physical.

Excited at the prospect of having a new ball boy at PNC park shagging fouls, rumors have already surfaced that Huntington has been in talks with the Detroit Tigers about a deal that would move C Ryan Doumit for a used stool.