Frustrated LaRussa Pinch-Hits With Self

Cardinals manager and living legend Tony LaRussa recently watched his National League Central leading Cardinals drop 3 of 4 to the lowly New York Mets. Frustrated at a lack of offense, and the lack of hustle from some of his star players, LaRussa picked up a bat and ran himself out in the 6th inning Thursday.

Always an innovator, LaRussa has recieved mixed reviews when it comes to some of his more interesting managerial decisions. The Redbird's skipper routinely bats his pitcher 8th to provide more baserunners at the top of the order. He has been known to use starting pitchers as pinch runners. He has handmade elaborate costumes and disguises to allow Cardinal's All Star Albert Pujols to bat multiple times in an inning.

He is 3rd all-time in managerial Wins, which makes it hard to argue with someone with such a track record of success. If some of his out of the ordinary methods produce victories, little can be said other than congratulations. In fact, Thursday can be no exception because he managed to drop down a bunt-single before the umpires realized he was an ineligible player, scolded him and ejected him from the game, and had security escort him from the field.

"Tony... Should we call someone?" -Cardinals GM

Wright & Wroñg

It started as a way to generate interest for the Mets and quell boredom for the two Superstars. It has become the most highly anticipated My9 show since King of Queens reruns. David Wright is showing off his acting range as his own original character, "Dave White". With Jose Reyes as Jose Reyes. They are two college roommates with a wacky cast of colorful co-eds. They share a passion for baseball, deep-dish pizza... And Life.

"Dave White" is a straightlaced Georgia Tech sophomore with a baseball scholarship, a heart of gold, and a unibrow that makes Italian 40-somethings swoon.

Reyes is the hotheaded but lovable Dominican with a devilish grin and fiery latino passion. His unrelenting speed is matched only by his love of the ladies and skateboarding. Also he's the drummer in GT's hottest band on campus: "The Double Plays".

In the first episode "Dave" has to finish his term paper by the next day or he wont be allowed to attend the Harvest Dance. But Jose calls up his amigos, and hijinks ensue!

They already have some hilarious guest appearances planned :

Mets Manager Jerry Manuel as their nosey RA.

Darryl Strawberry as the lovable stoner.

Keith Hernandez as a knowledgeable drifter who Dave finds out never really existed at the end of the episode, but finds a mustache comb on his nighttable, and looks up at the sky thoughtfully.

The Mets and My9 are hoping to break into the competitive world of buddy sitcoms. Hopefully this most recent foray into comedy will be more successful than their previous project, now in it's third season...

Randy Johnson Loses 300th Game

"Well, it was a long time coming..." the 6'10" veteran said after the game, "I have been in this league for so long, sometimes you lose sight of the important things in life. Pushing cameramen, sending people to the hospital at All-Star games, and just treating everyone like absolute garbage 24/7." Giants lefty Randy Johnson went 2/3's of an inning Thursday allowing 10 runs on 6 hits and 7 walks. His San Francisco Giants went on to lose the game 18-2. A typical start for the "giant" southpaw, and a positive sign for the Baysiders.

Randy: "I tried to keep the damage down to a minimum and give the bullpen more rest than they're accustomed to," he paused and resettled the ice on his left shoulder, waiting expectantly for another question from the assembly of stunned reporters. "I have been around this game for a while now, and as long as I get my millions, I will continue to throw batting practice and yell at fans from the mound, and dugout. I enjoy smoking in between and sometimes during innings, and writing made-up swear words on kid's ballgloves. I'm proud of my accomplishments and my ability to throw upper 80's heat. This game is not easy. Guys want to get hits, they will. I can only get out of the game as quick as I can and eat delicious food in the clubhouse."